On feeling like a failure

Feeling like a failure has little correlation with actually failing.

There are people who have failed more times than you and I can count, who are happily continuing in their work.

There are others who have achieved more than most of us can imagine, who go to work each day feeling inadequate, behind, and yes, like failures and frauds.

These are not cases of extraordinary outliers. In fact, external data is almost useless in figuring out whether or not someone is going to adopt the narrative of being a failure.

Failure (as seen from the outside) is an event. It’s a moment when the spec isn’t met, when a project isn’t completed as planned.

Feelings, on the other hand, are often persistent, and they are based on stories. Stories we tell ourselves as much as stories the world tells us.

As a result, if you want to have a feeling, you’ll have it. If you want to seek a thread to ravel, you will, you’ll pull at it and focus on it until, in fact, you’re proven right, you are a failure.

Here’s the essential first step: Stop engaging with the false theory that the best way to stop feeling like a failure is to succeed.

Thinking of one’s self as a failure is not the same as failing. And thus, succeeding (on this particular task) is not the antidote. In fact, if you act on this misconception, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of new evidence that you are, in fact, correct in your feelings, because you will ignore the wins and remind yourself daily of the losses.

Instead, begin with the idea that the best way to deal with a feeling is to realize that it’s yours.

Reblogged from: here

Advertisements

About janaknmistry

Janak is a 1984 born, MSc and MBA educated from Mumbai, India. He is an avid traveller by choice and a solopreneur by luck. He has clocked many thousands of kilometres on a motorcycle. It was his journey to the Leh-Ladakh, which motivated him to write about his experiences throughout the journey in enjoying the beauty, pain and hardships. He has successful authored and published his book called “Journey in Time with Timeless Memories” which is released and published in Germany and available all over the world besides Asia and the Middle East. Apart from being an author he is an active book reviewer too and have reviewed books by some of the established authors in USA. Janak runs a motorcycle expedition co. called Jack n Jill-The Moto Expedition Co. He is passionate about travelling and photography, which helps him find a beauty and meaning in this wide busy world. It was his journey to the Leh-Ladakh which motivated him to write about his experiences throughout the journey in enjoying the beauty, pain and hardships. He is passionate about travelling and photography which helps him find a beauty and meaning in this wide busy world.
This entry was posted in Self-Realisation and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s